Thread:Matsczon/@comment-29522860-20160907021345/@comment-4511886-20160907155231

I've checked through the article, and your writing is quite good. However, you're speculating far too much. I request that you properly reference, or remove, all the lore to make sure that it's all factually correct. Considering the size of the page, I'd recommend asking LaVey if you need help with formatting the references. I've only ever had to use the single-use variant, which would be much too space-consuming to be considered.

Here are some minor things I noticed directly:


 * The Furtive Pygmy found a Lord Soul, and should thus be counted as a Lord alongside Gwyn, Nito and the Witch.


 * Gwyn's Firstborn was banished after Gwyn left to link the Flame. Sunlight Blade description I'm also uncertain if he was banished because he allied with the dragons, or vice versa.


 * Artorias went to Oolacile to fight the Abyss, while the current writing implies that he went to New Londo. Although not confirmed, it's a fairly safe assumption that he only ever went to Oolacile, and never visited New Londo. As far as we know, the Abyss in New Londo might not even have sprung up until after Manus was defeated.


 * Nito isn't confirmed (although I'll agree that it is ridiculous how heavily implied it is) to have been the one that created the Fenito. As such, it shouldn't say that Nito absolutely did it. Additionally, Nito gave his soul to death itself, so he did technically split it in the same way all the other Lords did.


 * There appears to be a difference between darkness and the Dark. The Dark is referred to more as an entity of sorts than a mere concept. For example, death is simply an unmanifested concept and light manifests as lightning, whereas Dark is simply Dark and fire is simply fire.


 * The Pygmy's gender is never mentioned or implied, as far as I know.