Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-1687225-20141028030458/@comment-10407900-20141028132353

I'm just now waking up so forgive me if I'm not as eloquent as usual.

I can definitely relate to your situation, as I've had similar experiences. My parents split up when I was young, and after they did I lived with my father until he become a drunken, drug addled, womanizer with "guests" coming and going at all hours of the day. He was an alchaholic who endangered my life as well as my mothers on multiple occasions and his money typically went to filling up his bottle instead of providing for his son.

One of my exs, my first love, was suicidal and suffered from depression. Most of my time with her was spent trying to build her up and help her, but after her and her family moved away all she wanted to do was come back, even if it meant throwing away her future. Because I couldn't live with the guilt of allowing her to do that and because unlike other teenagers, I realized how fleeting love could be at our age, I broke off the relationship. Some time after doing so she tricked me into believing that she had killed herself and the guilt was eating me alive. After the longest three days I've my life I discovered that she was alive and well, if I hadn't I probably wouldn't be here typing this.

I'm not recounting these experiences for pity, or to take away from your post, but to show that I know the kind of pain and adversity you're facing. I've suffered from depression, anxiety attacks, I've had near death experiences that I've regretted coming out of unscathed, but ultimately I've made it through everything and I'm moving on with my life, just as you will in time.

The most important thing to remember is that the pain wont disappear in an instant, or even anytime soon, it will linger for quite some time, but eventually it will dissipate. You need to treat this as though it's a near fatal physical injury. You need time to recover and you can't be afraid to lean on the people close to you when you need help.

I hope this helps and if you ever need someone to listen feel free to contact me either via my wall, email, or Skype (I believe both contacts are on my profile).